Wednesday, March 21, 2012
A friend once told me that his heart was in his mouth when he got to the top of the roller coaster at Six Flags. Naturally, I got my hands on the nearest chainsaw and cut my friend's head off. For some reason, the police didn't believe me when I told them that my friend was a zombie and I was simply trying to prevent the spread of the infection. Some people just can't recognize the signs of Zombification until their own hearts are being eaten.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
One time, after I thwarted my Evil Twin brother's latest scheme to take over the world with an army of zombified lemurs, I told Kram through the bars of his cell that nothing would make me happier than if we could just get along for once. He replied that I couldn't have my cake and eat it, too. To prove him wrong, I went down to the nearest Ralph's, bought a Carvel ice cream cake, brought it back to his cell, and ate it in front of him. I guess some siblings will always be rivals.