Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Screw Loose

Somebody once told me that my Evil Twin, Kram Sheldon, has a real screw loose. I told him that in fact my brother had several screws loose on his latest invention - a device that would allow him to control the minds of bandicoots and use them in his latest scheme to take over Australia - as I had loosened them myself. He looked at me oddly, and slowly walked away. I guess he had been hoping to take credit for loosening Kram's screws. Some people have no scruples when it comes to claiming credit for another person's hard work.

Friday, February 24, 2012

A Bone To Pick

One time, my Evil Twin, Kram Sheldon, told me that he had a bone to pick with me. I told him that what he did with the victims of his various nefarious schemes of World Domination was his own damn business, and that I would have no part of it. He mumbled something that sounded like an ancient Mesopotamian curse, and stalked away. Some family members have a hard time understanding when you don't want to be more involved in their personal line of work.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A Hard Nut to Crack

Back in high school, a friend told me that our upcoming math test was going to be a tough nut to crack. I pointed out that it actually most likely wouldn't be that hard to crack, as it was more than likely no more than a few pages, so it would be a fairly simple matter just to rip the paper - but then he probably would have a hard time at getting a good grade if he were to do that. Some people just aren't very good at taking tests.